


Sunshine in thunderstorms

by triggered_lizard



Series: A new life, but haunted by the past [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anti-Android Sentiments (Detroit: Become Human), Blood and Torture, Disney Movies, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flower Crowns, Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Past Torture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ralph (Detroit: Become Human) Loves Flowers, Violence, i didnt mean to, im sorry, jerry is good at comforting people, they deserve happiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24187129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triggered_lizard/pseuds/triggered_lizard
Summary: After a day full of happiness, flower crowns, and Disney movies, Jerry accidentally traps himself in Ralph's memory when interfacing, learning the extent of his attack.It can be triggering for certain readers, so consider the tags carefully.Can be read as a stand-alone, but it makes way more sense if you read the first fic in the series :D
Relationships: Jerry(s) & Kara (Detroit: Become Human), Jerry(s) & Ralph (Detroit: Become Human), Jerry(s)/Ralph (Detroit: Become Human), Kara & Luther & Alice Williams (Detroit: Become Human), Kara & Ralph (Detroit: Become Human), Ralph & Rupert Travis, Rose Chapman & Alice Williams, Rose Chapman & Kara
Series: A new life, but haunted by the past [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742737
Comments: 1
Kudos: 50





	Sunshine in thunderstorms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Christah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Christah/gifts).



> Tw for torture, blood, swearing, and questioning of own existence.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the story!  
> (totally chill if you don't. I understand u amigo)

Summertime approached and Ralph couldn’t be happier. His greenhouse flourished with flowers, vegetables, and herbs. Rose had helped him figure out the perfect formulas for teas, which they had made into a small business. Rose would bring samples of tea to work for her co-workers at the café to try, and they would give feedback on what they liked the most.

He took great pride in his garden and all it’s contents and inhabitants. Bees swarmed around his Phloxes, sucking up nectar and pollinating the flowers.

He sat down in front of his lavender bush. A small butterfly landed on the crown of his hair and walked around in the blondˋs hair. Ralph hummed a simple tune while he tended to his flowers, cutting away dead stalks and watering it to perfection. More butterflies appeared and formed a crown on Ralph’s head.

He lifted his hand to gently lift one of the butterflies off his head. The bug flapped its wings slowly, displaying its beautiful colors. The dark blue color matched where his skin and synthetic interior had been damaged, displaying the blue color of thirium. The butterfly crawled up his arm until it reached the hem of his t-shirt.

He moved over to the wall where his bright red and juicy tomatoes grew. The butterflies lifted off his head for a brief moment, before settling down again in a different pattern. He gathered the ripe tomatoes into a small fruit basket, neatly setting them down to prevent damage.

“Beautiful,” someone behind him said softly. Ralph turned around, spotting a familiar pair of bright green eyes.

“They’ve grown quite nicely! Look!” Ralph proudly displayed the fresh tomatoes, which resembled those you would see in farmer’s ads where every crop was spotless. Jerry shook his head and crouched down to his partner.

“I meant you, silly,” Jerry cupped Ralph’s cheek with the most tender of touch, admiring the bright blush that spread over the other’s face. Ralph turned away quickly, embarrassed at the remark. Jerry had made sure to call him beautiful at least one time a day. He claimed that he was trying to boost Ralph’s non-existent ego.

“O-oh,” Ralph fumbled with his hands, rubbing his palms together harshly. Jerry took the hands and surrounded them with his own, which made Ralph stop right away. “Ralph thinks you’re beautiful too,” He whispered to the other. Jerry didn’t care if he shouted the remark, or simply muttered it under his breath because it would still feel like his entire day had been made.

Jerry leaned forwards and kissed Ralph’s cheek, resting his cheek against his shoulder. “I’m proud of you, sunshine. I just want you to know that.” Jerry kissed him again, but a proper one this time. He closed his eyes, sinking into the kiss as the skin on his hands retracted, exposing their white interior.

Ralph shared all the joy he could express in the interfacing, chanting words of love until they were engraved into Jerry’s synthetic brain. He had always found it easier to share it via interfacing rather than having to tell it out loud. Jerry didn’t mind of course. He was just happy his partner was comfortable.

Jerry broke the kiss and rested his forehead against the other android’s. “What I was going to ask you was if you had any more Jasmine. Rose wanted to try a new blend.”

Ralph gave him a lopsided grin, removing one hand from Jerry’s grip and reaching behind him. He carefully plucked the Jasmine flowers off the Bush, cradling the delicate flowers in his hand.

He plucked another flower. Jerry recognized it as one of the flowers William had had inside earlier, which all of them though had died after weeks of neglect. That is, of course, until Ralph had treated them with the love they deserved which made them flourish with brilliant colors. He gave the jasmines to Jerry and plucked a few more flowers.

Just as Jerry was about to ask why he was plucking them, Ralph started braiding them together until he had a neat circle. An array of blue, yellow, purple, and pink flowers made a beautiful pattern that stuck out from every angle. He placed it on Jerry’s head and positively beamed with joy.

“Now we’re even,” Jerry pointed between his and Ralph’s head, but the other just gave him a puzzled look. He reached out for his hand and interfaced again, displaying what he saw. Ralph saw himself. His head was covered in butterflies of different sizes, colors, and patterns, along with a bee that sat on the tip of his ear.

“Ralph hopes they want to be his friend,” he reached up for another butterfly, but four walked onto his hand instead.

“Who wouldn’t want to be your friend?”

“Ralph has a list” Ralph admitted, to which Jerry gave a sad ˋohˋ.

“Well, they are missing out,” Jerry huffed. “I wanted to be your friend, and I can say with confidence that it was the best decision of my life.”

“But you want to be everyone’s friend,” Ralph kissed his partner’s hand with a smile, which he knew was Jerry’s weakness. That was especially true when they laid in bed talking at night, as Ralph tried new ways of showing affection.

“And so do you. Which means we are the perfect match!” The ginger gave a quick peck to the scars on Ralph’s face, reminding him that they were nothing to be ashamed of.

He helped the other up from the stone floor and onto their feet. They held hands for a brief moment before Jerry went inside with the flowers.

Most days Ralph preferred to be alone, but he always enjoyed the occasional visit from his partner. He had gotten better at being around other people and actually enjoy the company they gave. Now that he had a new family, he had found new values in life.

He made mental notes of the things he liked about them and reminded himself constantly that they wanted to be around him and weren’t forced to surround themselves with him out of pity.

They appreciated his flowers, which was important. Ralph didn’t know if he could make friends that didn’t like flowers, but he knew he shouldn’t judge them if they didn’t.

He continued tending to his roses. He had dedicated the bush to Jerry, as the rosebuds resembled the color of his hair. It was the prettiest flowers he had in his garden, and he knew it was because of the love and dedication he had for them since they reminded him of someone dear to him. He wanted the android to be proud of him, after all.

Not long after, Jerry reappeared at his side, wrapping his arms around the android’s waist and kissing his neck softly.

“Would you like to join us for a movie night?” Jerry held his hand protectively, kissing the plastic-like surface of Ralph’s damaged hand. Ralph blushed and nodded happily. He had never gotten used to giving affection, though he tried his best when it seemed appropriate. The fear of doing something wrong still loomed over him like a dark cloud, but he tried to push the boundaries every day.

“They are setting it up now, so we’ll start in about 20 minutes.”

“C-could Jerry stay with Ralph? Just until the movie starts?” Ralph took a chance and cupped Jerry’s cheek, which he gladly leaned into. An idea popped into Ralph’s head as he looked at the still intact flower crown on Jerry’s head. “We could make them flower crowns!”

The latter beamed at the idea. “Then you’ll have to teach me how to do it.”

“It’s easy! Ralph will show you!”

They entered the living room with flower crowns over their arms shortly after. Ralph had picked out the flowers that best represented their family members, while Jerry had braided them together into a neat circle. After two failed attempts, he had gotten the hang of it. Ralph had shown him in great detail how to braid them together for best longevity.

Since it would be impossible to fit everyone on the couch, Jerry and Ralph opted for the floor instead. Ralph jogged to their bedroom to find blankets and pillows for a more comfortable seating. He set up something resembling a bird’s nest, with pillows in every nook and cranny to create a new definition of comfort.

“What movie are we watching?” Rose turned to Alice, who had picked out the movie herself (with a little bit of help from Kara)

“Beauty and the Beast!” Alice jumped in excitement. Sure, it was an old movie, but it was a timeless classic.

William streamed the movie on his TV. Alice had banned them from researching the movie so that it would be a surprise for all of them.

Jerry had betrayed Alice by reading the complete synopsis of the movie, just to see if there was anything that could potentially trigger his partner. Better safe than sorry, he thought.

The movie started and they all watched in anticipation. Ralph was inching closer to Jerry every minute, going from shoulder by shoulder to Ralph’s legs over Jerry’s lap, arms around his waist and head resting on the nook of his neck.

Alice had slowly and discreetly slid in-between them. Both she and Ralph reacted at the scenes in the same way, with exaggerated gasps and rooting loudly for the beast to win over Gaston. They awed as Belle told the beast she loved him and cried when they danced together at the end.

In the end, only William, Rose and Jeremy remained on the couch, while everyone else had slowly drifted to the floor.

Ralph found Jerry’s hand and interfaced as not to interrupt the others' viewing experience. – We are kind of like Belle and the beast—

Jerry knew Ralph referred to the beast as himself since it lined up better with the story, but he disagreed. He turned to his partner, a warm smile resting on his lips. –I ought to call you Belle then—

He observed his partner's face, who erupted in a deep blush that was visible even in the dim light. They never broke the connection, and instead shared thoughts about the movie between themselves until the credits rolled.

Rose yawned and looked at the clock. It was way past bedtime as the time just hit 11 pm. “I think I’ll be hitting the hay,” she announced, rubbing her eyes, and pushing herself off the floor. Everyone said their good night’s until only Jerry and Ralph were left in the now dark room.

Jerry turned to Ralph, a careful smile resting on his lips. “Should we get some sleep too?” Androids didn’t need sleep, but they enjoyed laying in bed together on standby mode. Ralph grabbed his hand and practically hoisted the man up from the blankets.

“Just leave the blankets. It’s too hot for them anyways,” Jerry stated, but Ralph brought one anyway. They ran up the creaky stairs and were careful not to wake Alice, as she slept opposite to their room.

Jeremy, who had the entire evening figured out, kindly asked him to turn the hive mind off to spare himself future awkward encounters. Jerry let out a quiet laugh at his fellow EM400 and turned off his hive mind with a simple blink of his eye.

Without any sort of warning, Ralph backed him up against the wall, pinning Jerry’s hands over his head with one hand, the other going to tilt Jerry’s chin up to meet his eyes.

Jerry wouldn’t lie if he said he felt scared but in a good way. He trusted Ralph not to hurt him, even with his quickly shifting moods and behaviors. It was just something in the way his Ralph, a usually very shy and nervous android, managed to look at him in an almost predatorily way.

“Can Ralph kiss you?” There was a tone of caution in Ralph’s voice, but Jerry still felt weak at the knees. He couldn’t get a proper response to form at his lips, so he just pushed himself forwards to capture the other’s lips on his own.

After having been together for nearly 4 months, they had finally gotten the hang of kissing. In the beginning, it had been awkward and stiff, but after they got comfortable around each other, they could spend an entire evening snuggled up together with nothing but kissing. The perk of being an android was that they technically didn’t need to breathe, so that made the experience even better.

Ralph removed the hand that was holding Jerry’s wrists and wrapped it around his waist instead. He spun them around and lowered Jerry carefully onto their shared bed. It was nice to have a bedroom of their own, even though it wasn’t normal for an android to have.

“Can I touch you?” If it was one thing they were good at, it was asking if things were okay to do. It was easy to cross borders since they had both suffered trauma, so they wanted to be on the safe side of things.

Ralph removed his t-shirt, displaying the countess rifts in his synthetic skin. He placed Jerry’s hands on his waist, granting him wordless permission. Jerry ran his hands over the android’s chest. The skin was rough and blotchy, so he helped him deactivate the skin. Underneath was less visible scars, but a huge gash over the left side of his chest stuck out like a sore thumb.

Jerry had never seen him take his shirt off before, and he imagined it was because of the imperfections he had. He never got to know why Ralph’s arms were covered in bumps and bits of plastic that almost seemed melted. He had been quite secretive about his past, but Jerry respected the privacy.

Jerry touched the pulsing heart that stuck through the gash on his chest, running his finger along the metal casing. He retracted his hand, sensing that Ralph felt uneasy.

“It doesn’t hurt” Ralph reassured him, placing Jerry’s hand on his heart again. It beat quickly, reflecting his feelings perfectly as his mind felt ecstatic. “Ralph feels happy when he’s with you. This heart,” he placed his own hand on top of Jerry’s. “It beats for you.”

Their eyes met. Something sparked between them at that moment, making every wire and synthetic nerve send small shocks around their body. They both shuddered in unison, clinging onto each other to keep each other grounded.

“Jerry... I love you” Ralph peppered his partner’s face with kisses, appreciating every single inch of him. Jerry ran his hands down Ralph’s sides. His fingers moved over to the smaller gashes on his chest and traced the lines carefully.

Ralph backed away from him to reveal he had deactivated the skin of his face. He had been practicing while he had been alone so that he could impress his partner. It took him some time, but he just tried to simulate the feeling he got when Jerry had touched his hand when interfacing. They stripped down to their underwear, laying bare on the white sheets.

They interwove their fingers to interface. Eyes closed as they felt the other’s body react under their touch. Ralph laid down next to Jerry, inching as close as he could. Their chest pressed together, and Ralph’s heart slipped out of its socket, just far enough for it to beat against Jerry’s chest.

This was their definition of intimacy. Just laying together and sharing their thoughts and holding each other in a warm embrace. It was even warmer now that it was summertime, so their fans worked quietly inside of them, but still gave a buzzy feeling of the rotating motors.

Their foreheads rested together as they shared the visual details of their past few days.

Jerry shared his memory of going to the store to buy groceries. They didn’t need to buy any vegetables or fruits anymore, because Ralph had planted everything they needed. He had gotten pasta, meatballs, and flour, among many other things. A man with piercing blue eyes and a stern expression bumped into his shoulder. Jerry uttered a quick apology before going to the checkout.

Jerry sensed Ralph had started twitching like he usually did when he became nervous. He didn’t really understand why, so he carried on with the memory.

Suddenly, Ralph jerked away from his touch. He stumbled off the bed and slid down the wall, hugging his knees. Jerry crawled to the edge of their bed and went after his partner. “Are you alright?”

“J-john…johna-ttth” Ralph flinched in Jerry’s embrace but clung to him once he realized who was holding him. Jerry regained their touch without the intention of interfacing, but he felt himself fall into a past reality.

Ralph, along with another gardening android had just finished their day at the plantation where they gardened all kinds of flowers in different colors, shapes, and sizes. They chatted merrily between themselves, minding their own business as they admired their work.

It was early November, but their combined effort, along with 5 other androids who had been programmed specifically for gardening advanced flowers, had managed to make almost all the flowers bloom despite the harsh weather outside.

The rest of the androids had already returned to their stations in a locked facility behind the greenhouses, but they had decided to stay a little longer to feed the pigeons who hadn’t nested yet. It was an activity they did in secret, as no one could know they did anything outside their programming.

The two men snuck takeout boxes out from a pile of buckets at the equipment station, opening them to display an array of seeds, vegetables, and kinds of wheat.  
The pigeons had grown accustomed to them coming outside at 8 pm sharp, so they had already gathered to get their daily dose of free food.

They often went dumpster diving in the morning before they started work, where the local food markets would throw out spoiled food. They weren’t actually spoiled and were still in prime condition, but they always made sure to scan the food of potential damage before chopping it up for their friends.

Pigeons swarmed at their feet as they heard the cardboard box open. They took a handful each and drizzled it over the swarm of birds.

“We have a new visitor,” Ralph crouched down to give a dove a handful of grains. It hopped onto his finger so it could get a better position. He turned to his friend and lifted the dove up. “What do you think Rupert? A new friend?” Ralph chuckled as the dove jumped over to Rupert’s hand to snack on the apple-peels he had in his hand.

“It should be torpor by this time of the year,” Rupert scanned the internal temperature of the bird, concluding that it needed more heat to survive.

“It’s too risky to bring them inside. You know what they’ll do to us if they find out we’ve been feeding pigeons.” They knew they did something illegal. They shouldn’t be going against their program, but it felt right, and it brought them joy. It was a feeling androids weren’t supposed to have. “I’ve already gotten into trouble twice this week and I don’t think they will excuse three inconveniences of one android”

“Yeah, I guess you have a point.” Rupert put the dove down and threw another hand of seeds over the ground. A spade fell over behind them, making both turn.

“Is anyone there?” Ralph scanned the area but spotted no moving object. He furrowed his brows as he went back to feeding the birds.  
The pigeons all left in unison, scattering like ink in water. Something was definitely wrong.

“If it’s intruders again we’ll have to update the security on sight,” Rupert rounded the corner of the greenhouse. A pair of hands pushed him down and started strangling him. He only managed to whisper his friend's name in a desperate attempt to get help.

“Rupert… Is everything alright?” Ralph called out for his friend with no response. A hand wrapped around his throat and slammed him against the glass frame of the greenhouse. It shattered upon impact, sending the android tumbling into a tray of orchids.

A shadow towered him. A tall man stood looming over Ralph, pinning him down with a heavy combat boot on his chest.  
Jerry managed to disconnect from Ralph for a brief second, noting that the man looked exactly like the guy he had run into at the store. Just as easily as he got out, he got dragged back in again.

“RUPERT!” Ralph gave a heart-wrenching scream as the guy stomped down onto his face, breaking the jaw off. Thirium dripped down Ralph’s chin as the carbon fiber grid against the inside of his mouth. Jerry felt the slight pinch of his own jaw reacting to the shared emotion setting.

“Shut the fuck up!” the man leaned down to grab the collar of Ralph’s shirt. 

Jerry couldn’t watch Ralph get beaten up. He just couldn’t. The interfacing sequence would not stop, no matter how much he tried to deactivate it. 

Jerry felt Ralph’s heart beat at least 100 miles an hour, the pounding deafened every other noise in the room. The android’s jaw made him unable to speak, so only gibberish came out.

“I still can’t believe you guys are supposed to be the most advanced beings ever created. You can’t even speak!” Jerry decided that he hated the man’s voice. There was just something about it that made him want to punch him in the stomach to make him stop talking. “You’re nothing but a disposable piece of trash, you realize that right? You’re not alive. You can’t feel shit. So shut the fuck up before someone comes.”

“P-please…” Ralph’s voice filled with static and his words slurred because of his jaw practically being on the edge of falling off. “I don’t want t̴̨ỏ̶͍ ̸̨̄d̴̟̔i̵̙͝e̸͕͐…”

“Die?” The man laughed with his head thrown back. “You won’t get the luxury of that I’m afraid!”

“r̴̼̲̰͕̙̃ű̷͉̖̕n̴͙̠̤͋͆͜ ̶̱̳͂̀̌̕̚Ř̸̳̞͈̉́̀̉u̷͓͓͓̮̬̿͝p̴̨̛̖̤̠͌͌͜͠ḙ̷̳͆̄̓̊͘ř̴̻͙̯̂̐͝ţ̶͂” He yelled for the other android to escape, wherever he was on the plantation ground.

The man pulled out a small box from his pocket. He recognized it immediately, as his owners had used it on him whenever he disobeyed. They were specifically made to handle androids and to render them defenseless for a minute or two. But that was on the lowest setting.

He had seen another android being zapped by the police with the same model of gun. The android’s entire body had lit up with strings of lightning before dropping to the ground. Dead.

He crouched down in front of the android and zapped into the air with the taser. A brilliant light lit up both their faces, the sound loud enough to scare away any bird or person alike in a 5-mile radius.

Ralph kicked at the guy, trying desperately to get away. For the first time in his life, he was terrified. Unfortunately for him, the man was one step ahead, tasing Ralph’s ankle to render him immobile.

It felt as if every single wire inside of him burned against his skin as the electricity pulsed through his system. Everything went black, but for how long he did not know.

Jerry felt like he blacked out as well, as he couldn't see anything at all. He couldn't see Ralph’s memory anymore, but the tearing in his body told him he was still trapped in Ralph’s mind.

Ralph's chest ached when he regained his consciousness. He opened his eyes, flinching as he felt his right was eye missing. Carefully he touched the synthetic eyelid, which led him to his cheek. Thirium dripped onto his hands as he traced the marred lines with his finger.

His system tried to reboot. Instead, he got a distorted error message covering vision. People were talking quietly somewhere, or maybe they were just far away.

“You could always sell his parts.”

“Why do that when we can just trash it completely? That’s more fun.”

“Well, it’s not like anyone is going to come to look for him anyway.”

“Not his little friend at least.”

w̵̮͌h̷̫̳̟̃̓a̶̘͝t̶̨̢̝̂ ̵̤̝̋ͅh̸͂͜à̷̖̈v̷̳͗͗͆e̷͉̿̓ ̴̞̽͛y̷̧̛͇o̵͕͝ù̶̙̹ ̷̦̑d̷̞̜̅̂͋o̴͇̒͠n̸͕͕̙̎͝͝e̶̛͉ ̴͓͙̜͘ť̶̢̮͊ͅǫ̶̦͆̍̒ ̵̗̊̚͜R̶̛̖͚͒u̴̥͌p̵̳̗̙͗̉̚e̶̗̱̜͌̉r̴̤̓̆͜ͅṭ̸̍” He pushed himself off the floor. The static in his voice had only gotten worse, his words slurred out like a drunk man.

“Won’t you look at that Johnathan. The robot has finally woken up.” Even though Ralph couldn’t see very clearly, he could still hear the smirk in the other man’s voice.  
“I’ll go and get the parts from the other one. We can get some serious cash out of that one”

Before Ralph knew it, he got kicked to the floor again. The surface was wet. It shouldn’t be wet. He dropped his gaze to see a pool of blue liquid coating the usually white floor. Thirium, his thirium. Where was his shirt?

From his side view, he saw the other man toss his keys to Johnathan. Was that his name? He wasn’t sure. It’s not like he would ever need to remember it anyway.

The man pulled out a bottle with a clear liquid along with a lighter. “How well do you fuckers burn, huh?” he laughed in a sinister tone, flicking the lighter in Ralph’s face and illuminating the fearful expression on Ralph’s features.

Ralph managed to scramble to his feet, but his knees buckled and sent him tumbling into a tray of garden scissors. Johnathan was right behind him, laughing furiously as he emptied some of the contents of his bottle over Ralph’s torso.

Gasoline.

“Do you believe in god?”

Flick.

Ralph screamed inhumanly as his skin got engulfed in blazing flames. The thirium boiled under his skin, creating lacerations where his transportation tubes were joined. The fire transmitted to some of the plants. The petals burned to a crisp in seconds.

“n̸̫͓̥̋o̶̤̯̞̝̪͊ţ̸͎͍̹̍̈́͠ ̷̜͙̞̱̿̋͗̕t̴͇̤̭̃̋h̸̢͙͇̙͗͛̈ė̸̫ ̸̜͓̙̰̻̉̆͘f̴̟̂̉̿̕͝l̷̗͆o̷̩̺̱̬͚͂̊͠ẘ̵͉̞͉͉̔e̶̟̯͉̬̪̔̕r̸͕̝͍̭̦̓̈́s̷̩̘͎̯̆” Ralph used all the energy he had left to crawl over to the wall to turn on a hose. 

He couldn’t let his owners be disappointed in him. He had to save the flowers, even if that was the last thing he ever did.

The skin on his hands melted into a thick goo and dripped onto the floor like wax. His arms stopped working and the hose dropped to the floor, spraying water over his burning body.

“H̷̢̢̜͉̯͓̪̟͔̮̪̤̖̩̪̥̊ͅ ̶̢̢̢͇͔̖̝͎͍̝̺̗̘̮͍̫̥͖̗͂̉͜Ȩ̶̢̧̰͎̯̹̰̟͖͎̪̟̠̝͔̩͈̇̎̍̔̅̀̏͒̅̾̇̇͌͘͜͝ ̴̢̨̺̲͎̱̜͙̻̭̳̙̺̗̦̤̞̺͛̆͗̇͜Ḽ̷̡̘̖͚̥̖̝̖͊͐͘ ̴̱͕͈́͊̔̌̽̐̀̅̃̍̈́̊̐̕͘̕P̵̨̛̱̪̠̩̬͕̣̺̼̯͖͈̳̯͉͕̞̫̈͊̍̀̅̀̅͐̈́͋̊̀̂̊͗͗͝͝ͅ ̸̰̟̫͙̈́̏͐̃̌́̑͆͘͠͝͝͝ ̴̢̢̢̼̱̠̝̬͔̲͚̘̰̥̤̖͓̙͇̫̯͊͛͑̿͗̓̄̾̃͒́̄͘͜ ̷̡̡̛̤̥̣̦̠̰̖͚̠͇͔̱̤̙̅̊͌͊͋̀̊̄̽̃̒͒̂͐̚̕̚͝M̴̡̬͖̰̝̲̙̟͔̺̤̱̘̟͓̗̔̈́̉̍̋͌̓̃̀̽̀̿̾̋̀͜͜͠ ̴̛̻̅́̆̇̍͛͋̽̍̉͑̕͝ͅË̷̛̗̝́̂̀̍̒̎͗̇͒̍̓̐͊̄̊̏̚̕̚͠͠”

He cried out for help, hoping that someone, anyone, would even think of saving an android. His jaw locked into place again as he slammed his head against the cold tiles, body paralyzed. Thirium dripped down his face and onto the ground. The man’s shadow loomed over him like a wolf waiting to devour his prey.

“You’re fucking useless. And now you’ve ruined your little garden.” He grabbed Ralph by the hair with fireproof gloves, yanking it until he could see the countless feet of flowers that burned uncontrollably. Ralph stared at the distorted flowers in shame. His internal fans went crazy trying to cool his systems down. “You don’t deserve to live. You’re just a machine.”

The closer Johnathan moved towards him, the more strain his heart took. That was until the man tore his heart out.

.̸̭̭͓̟̠̔͆̕.̵̨̧͉̥̹̳̼̋̂̾.̸͚̣̜̟̂̒̚.̵̨̠͕̲̑̒̊̆.̴̻̘̺̤̘͚̝͋̓̏͗̋͛.̷̤̞̙͋͌͋̑̾͝.̶͖͎͔̜̓̚.̷̤̹̹̽͜.̴̞̒̓̄̽̕͝.̷̳͑̚͝.̵̪͆̅̎̽͝.̵̛̞͕̜̝͇͈͖̎͑̓͘.̸̰̟̋̇.̵̨̻̟̥͛.̸̡̣̟̲́͒.̴͚̙̗̪͉̠̈́͌́̅̐̓̓.̷̢̢̢̖̠͕̯̔̐.̵̺̣̖͕̟̐̅̾͐̊̚ Ś̵̯͆͒̃̔̀ ̵̼͚̼͎͚̏̍͐T̸̢̯̺̳͆̉̈̏̑̊ ̷̜̳̩͚̹̋͂͜ ̷͙̦̲͔̂̇̓̆̊͛̈́O̶̧̨̮̮̪̰͌ ̵̡̼̝͔̘͕͚̔̓̉̐̔͋͝ ̵͈͙̖͔͆̅̈͆̕P̸͕̭͇̜̻̳͠͠ .̴̪̼͈̙̈́̓̅́͊.̴̘͎͂̓͝.̷̜̥͕̣̥̝͛.̶͎͇̆͊͘͝.̵̪̗̞̖̅͗.̸̖̮͑̈͠.̵̡̼̼͆̈̿̓̀.̴̡͍̪̂̔͛̐̓.̷͕͈̙̗͍̪̖̐͘.̴̛̟̦͕͊̔͋̔͑ͅ.̵͉̽͐̄͑̐̏.̴͐͂͜͝.̴̺͍͍̲̎͛͛͊͘.̴̡͚͓̲̃͝ͅ.̶̞͂.̷̦͈̯̊̑̽̓͂͗̕.̵̨̧̥̞̟͎̈́͊̓͌͊̽.̶̭̫͙̳̳̒̆.̸͉̼͈̹̤̱͌͆̊.̴̘́̐̊͒͛͝

The cables connected to his heart spilled thirium inside his body. It sizzled at the wires, shocking his system into overdrive. Buzzing drowned out the burning flowers surrounding him and strings of electricity danced over his skin, melting his tubes from the inside.

“Let’s get the hell out of here......” A faint voice tore through the void of screaming sounds. Footsteps faded.

His hands shook harshly against the tiles of the greenhouse. Thirium coated his hands as he pushed the organ into its slot again. His vision displayed hundreds of error messages at the same time, but his vision was so distorted they were unreadable.

[̵̺͖̬̱̻̲̫̺̂̓̃̉̽̕C̷̯̠̜͇̗̟̆̓͋̐̍͜͜R̶̨̛͙̐͘Į̵̦͍͊̓̃̂̐͘͠͠͝T̵̡̧̜̬̣͙͇̜̰̈́̐̈́Ĩ̸̛̭͎̘͂̏͂̅͛̇͒C̸͓͇̗̿̎̑̓̂A̶̯͐̉́̆͗̔̐̕L̷̛̻̠̞̩̙͋̓͋̐͂͌̀L̴̢͖͓̹̟͙͛̓̈̍̽̇̍̈́̕Ÿ̷̺̭͈͉́̑͜ ̶̟̗̞̍͌Ḷ̴͕̺̈̐͆̈́̋̇͋͜͝Ö̸͓͙̭͓̺́̉̎͂͘͠W̶̯͚̑̇ ̴̪̹̣̳͈̮͑T̵͉͇̻̟̭̙͇̞̝̈̑̑̅̀͘Ĥ̶̡̗̥̱̱̱͖͖̃͗́̌͗̓̇͜I̷͕̊̏̐Ŗ̶̲̹̦̘͚̪͙̎̓̈̚Ì̶̲͎̙̖̿͋Ǔ̵̧͈̃M̷̧̮͖̺̯̯͛̈͌ ̷̧̡͚̼̺̟̖̓̊͌͊L̸̰̫̥̀̓̈̚͝Ė̵̡̱̼͕͇̜͎̲̟̓̏̇̏̊̇V̷̬̖̀E̵̘̺̝̗̟͔̰̥̬͝L̴̲̦̯̜͉̋͊̍̆̕Ș̸̭̄̽̓̈́̃̾̆̐]̵̨̗̖̺̦͆͐̄̽͋

[̶̲̉t̵͍̉i̵͙̇m̴̛̞e̶͚͌ ̵͙̎r̴͎̆ẻ̷̬m̴̘̓a̵̪̿i̸̓͜ň̸͜ȋ̴͕n̵̺g̷̣ ̴̥̕b̵̪͊e̸̛͕f̷̮̈́ȍ̷ͅr̴͕̽e̷͕̓ ̷̳͗s̶̰̍h̶̺̑ǘ̷ͅt̶̖̍d̶̜̀o̶̼͝ẘ̵̥ň̵̩ ̸̡̌-̵̫͐0̵̨͋0̶̲̔:̸͖̏0̷̈͜0̶͖̔:̵̠̽1̸̲͠0̸̮̆]̵̟͝

Everything was covered in a red glow as the entire greenhouse was engulfed in flames. This was what humans had described as hell, and he wondered for a brief moment if this was his afterlife.

Tears wouldn’t come out as they evaporated before they even had the chance to spill. His skin melted to reveal his titanium casing. Even the metal turned so hot it fizzed whenever thirium spilled onto it. It was at times like these he hated having a functioning nose, as the smell of his own skin melting was nauseating.

He tried to reach out just one more time. He stretched out his arm for the exit, but it was too far out of reach. His legs were paralyzed behind him and hung onto him like dead weight. It was a desperate attempt to regain his reality, but when life came to life, he had failed. This was his consequence of existing.

His mind had accepted that he was going to die, even though he had no idea what the afterlife would bring. If anything, he hoped the afterlife wouldn’t give him mercy and that he would burn for eternity. He deserved what had been done to him. After all, he was the reason why the entire greenhouse was on fire.

He had disappointed his owners and now they would have to spend a lot of money to replace him because of his mistakes. He had gone against his program and he had suffered the consequences.

He deserved it

He had disappointed his owners

A machine without feelings

Not alive

useless

ṵ̷̝̓̏̃s̷̪̿ë̴̙́͆l̴̗͒̽̃e̶͙̣͖̅̂̃̒ͅs̸̲̠̀s̶̢̨̍

ű̷̘͒̈́̈̿̾͋̅̅̾̓̓̆͂̔̃͆͛͠͠s̷̢͔̦͚̞̟̻̟͇͉̝͔̙͔̺̰̰̣̬͓͌͊̂̄̿͠͠e̷̢̢̢̗͎̞̺̦̤̦̻̮̘̭͔̦͖̜͐͒͗̒̉̓̍̀̅̂̈̄̉͑͘͜͠l̸̛̞͖͔̩͎̠̙̬̖̇̋̇̽́͠ͅë̷̡̨̢̢̝̩̜͙̯̱͓̗̮͍̣̦̝̟̟͇̖͙̱́́ŝ̴̳̓̏͐̀͗͠s̶̗̱͍̫͓̳̳̉̈̒̈́̏̐̄̓͒̂͒̏̏̌̃͂̑͘̚̕

û̴̢̡̧̧̖̭͍͈̝͉̠̙̜͚̳͓̜̜̙͕̝͇̐̆͐͆̑̚̚s̸̢͓̪͈̬̦̗̠̙͇̮̺̟͖̙̊̌̈͑̏͛̑̉̃̈́̓͠e̶̢̡̡̱͉̼̤̺̝̬͍̠̙̮͙̲͙̣͍̪͈̟̤͍̫̬̩̽͒̇͗̈́͋̽̄̎͊͌̿̅͆̋̿̕͘̚͠͝͝ͅͅļ̶̡̼̺̙͚̲͇͖̪͔̘͈͍͕̰̖͍̗̞̙͇̈́͊̈̏̏̔͒͛̊͗̔̑e̴̮̘ș̷̢̛̯͈̘̝͚͇̺̪͖͚̳͎͈̯̳̜̉̄͋͒̋̇̓͛͛̐̈́͑̂̍̌̓̊̏͜͠͝͝͝͠s̸̬̽̓͐̀̃͑͛̀͛͊̋̎̀̄͂͒̌̔̚͝ 

“WAKE UP!”

Jerry gasped as he startled awake. His face was soaked in tears and the memory resurfaced. If he was able to puke, he was sure he would have emptied his stomach by now. Rose sat beside him and he guessed she was the one that woke him up. “Where is Ralph?!”

A howl from upstairs answered his question in the worst way he wanted.

“No, no, no. You stay here,” Rose grabbed his arm as he tried to get up from the couch.

“I can’t leave him!”

“He’ll be fine” Rose reassured him, but the howl echoing from the attic told him otherwise.

“I NEED TO SEE HIM NOW” Jerry pushed past Rose and ran up the stairs.

He threw the door open and what he saw shocked him. Ralph thrashed violently on the bed, with Luther holding him down. He was surprisingly strong for his size, and even Luther seemed to struggle a little.

Ralph screamed as tears streamed down his face. It reminded Jerry too much of the face he had made while struggling to get out of the burning greenhouse.

J̸̢̣̻̻̦̀̅́̄̅̓͐ ̵̨̠̹̘̫̪͈̻̭͑̐͝Ê̸͉̰̳̦̠̤̏̎̿̅ ̸̡̡̢̨̟̹͉̩̗͆͂̈́͗R̸̥̟̞̃͊̃̏̏ ̴̨̛̛͚͔̖̌͜

̴̢̬͓͓̮̬̟͎͈̫̎J̴̧̺̫̍̑̑͛͛͝͝Ę̸̛̜̱̙͉̿͒̔̃͐́͘͜͝ ̵̪̓̊̓͊̾͂̿̚R̵̮̔̈́̉͆̐R̵̡̗̤̣̤̽Y̵̡͓͈̱̓̽͆͛  
̵̨̜̩̺͛̽̓͐̏̔̈́̂͘

̵͙̠̃J̴̙͎̋͋̐̏͌̆E̶̜̫̠̗̋̀̋̊̾̽̐̚Ŗ̷̨͚̖͖̀́͑̒̕͝R̶̨̗͙͎̰̓͐̓́͘͝Ẏ̶̧̪͔͖͇̣͙̽͆̈̓̂͛́

Ralph threw his head in Jerry’s direction but couldn’t meet his eyes. This entire face twisted in agony. The flames surrounded him from every corner. Orchids burned in every direction he saw, engulfing everything in a skin-melting heat.

A face appeared in his vision. A wide, sadistic grin spread on the face. 

“G̸̡̡̫̩͍̠̗̳͇̗̮̜̼͙͇̔̍͌̌̈́̈́̔͊̽̓͗̌̎̚͜͝Ẹ̸̡̻̥̱̻̪͓̮̝̹͇̪̟̹͑̉T̸̢̡̛̟̙͖͉̟̜̹̜̪̘̰͍̂͂͑̌͛̓͒̌̋̒͛̍͊̆̚͜ͅ ̵̨̢͍͍̤̯̥̫̟͉͚͚̲̜̣̺͉̆̈́̿̍͛Ạ̵̯͎̻̇͋̽W̸̡̛̯̯̼̖͖͚̖̬͛͂̈̃̂̀̏̽͛͗̇̿͐̚͝A̷͍͔͔̤̖̱̺̳̗͓̤͑͗͗͐͒̾͊̌̽͗͐̾͌̚͘͜͜Y̸̖̦̮̽̿͐̅̍͆͋̾̉͐̔͠ ̸̢̣̼͕͙͈̥͓̗͎̹̃̈́̀̈F̴̖͋̆̈́̇̇̽̈̍̅͑Ŗ̶̗̺̘͌̔̽́͌̿̈̑͌̌̚͘͝͝͠ͅÒ̴̖̥̙͋̏̀̌M̴̥͓̊̈̽̔͐̔̿̈͆͗̊͛̆͗̕͠ͅ ̴̼̝̞̗̬̯͓̣̈́͛̈́̽͛͒̂̒̍̄̿̿̕͠͠͝ͅM̵̨̧̡̯͍̺̤̮̠̖̖̜͓͙̫̯̲̄̽͂Ẻ̷̤̻̫͓̝͒͋̄̿͂͗͝” he screamed at the man, who in reality wasn’t there.

It all felt too real like his skin was melting all over again and the man, Johnathan, was taunting him.

“What happened?!” Kara came up behind him, placing a hand on Jerry’s shoulder for comfort. When she saw he was crying, she hugged him tightly and motherly.

“We interfaced and…” he paused, inhaling even though he didn’t need to. “old scars resurfaced.” It was the best way to describe it, as all other words failed.

Kara gave him a puzzled look. He grabbed her wrist and showed a split second of the memory he had just lived through. The image of his partner being devoured by fire played in a constant loop which he thought he could never get rid of.

She pulled back, staring at him with a pained expression. She shifted to look at Ralph, an understanding backing in her mind. “he’s…. burning…”

Ralph’s eyes rolled back into his skull and went quiet. His LED turned from blinking red to a dim yellow. Jerry’s heart pounded hard against his chest as his anxiety spiked. He couldn’t hold back, so he frantically asked Luther to let go of Ralph so he could be by his side when he woke up, if he woke up, to comfort him.

He placed his hands on either side of Ralph’s face. His artificial blood ran cold as he watched the motionless face in front of him

“Ralph…” he caressed the scar on Ralph’s cheek, now with a deeper understanding of why he had felt such shame about them when they had first met.

“There you are…” Ralph’s eyes fluttered open and gave his partner an innocent smile. Jerry sighed in relief, lounging himself forwards to kiss his lover.

“You scared me, sunshine,” he rested his forehead against the other’s, letting his tears drip onto Ralph’s face. Their tears mingled on the bedsheets, darkening the fabric ever so slightly. Ralph giggled and kissed Jerry’s nose, replying with a simple “Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” Jerry reassured him. He had been worried, of course, but he didn’t want his partner to take the blame of said worry. “Nothing at all. Never, never again.”

“I’d hate to tear open old wounds, but I have to ask: how did you survive that?” Kara knelt beside the bed to easier meet Ralph’s now relaxed face. But by the comment, he seemed to tense up, and his smile faded.

“I didn’t” he answered, emotionless.

Kara looked around at the others to see if anyone had understood what he meant, but everyone seemed just as confused as her. “But… You’re here with us…”

“This is the afterlife, of course,” Ralph said as if it was obvious. “Ralph could never have had a good life after destroying all those flowers.”

“Ralph,” Jerry caressed his lover’s jaw gently, capturing his attention again. A pinch or worry drizzled over his expression.

The thought of Ralph disbelieving he had survived the fire hadn’t crossed his mind before, but certainly made sense after he had seen what had happened. The only thing that DIDN’T make sense was how he had survived. By what he saw in the memory, Ralph wouldn’t have made it out alive even if he had gotten pulled out last minute. His entire body had been destroyed.

“RA9”

“What?” Kara and Jerry said in unison.

“What did Ralph say?” Ralph’s gaze dashed between the two, then to Luther who stood in the corner as if not to interrupt them. Luther shared a sympathetic smile and left the room, trusting him not to freak out again.

“RA9. The word you carved into the wall at the abandoned house.” Kara explained.

“Ralph doesn’t know what that is.”

Kara patted his shoulder carefully. “I think we should get some sleep and talk about it with clear minds tomorrow. How does that sound?”

“Probably a good idea. Thank you, Kara.” Jerry dismissed her from the room, leaving them alone again. The aura changed as soon as the woman had closed the door behind her. He pushed himself off the bed for a moment, only to miss the contact and laying back down next to the other.

The air grew quiet, but not necessarily tense. After what they both had seen, one witnessing and one reliving, they appreciated the nothingness that roamed the room. Ralph broke the silence with a whisper. “Ralph wants to apologize again, for what he put you through,”

“No, I don’t want to hear more apologies. I now know why you never wanted to share your past, but it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Jerry leaned closer to capture the man’s lips on his. His hand rested on the dip of his waist. Their lips separated, but he remained as close as he could to the other. “Being scared is a normal part of living and there is nothing wrong with asking for help when things get rough”

“But, you’ll stay, right? Even with knowing what happened?” There was always a lingering thought in his mind that Jerry would freak out and leave him. He knew he was different, with imperfections to match. Yet somewhere deep inside his mind, he believed Jerry wouldn’t. That he too was a little bit different from the rest.

“Of course, sunshine. I’ll never leave you,” Jerry placed Ralph’s hand in his. He ran his thumb over the other’s exposed and marred metal, kissing the surface to show he had nothing against the way he looked. He would love his partner regardless, even if they both had to re-live their memories a thousand times.

“Forever?” Ralph pressed his cheek against Jerry’s chest, attentively listening to his lover’s heartbeat as if it was the most interesting thing in his life. To him, it was, as it was a testament to the other being alive.

He tilted his head just enough to see Jerry’s face. The latter smiled softly and responded with an equally soft voice.

“Forever.”

Ralph could tell from Jerry’s heartbeat that he was telling the truth.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that was a damn doozy to write.
> 
> As you may have noticed, I amplified Ralph's injuries and I did it for both shock factor, and because I felt like it would change how Jerry saw Ralph, but in an "Oh my RA9, I need to protect this sweet and innocent man" kind of way. (But also because its fanfiction and I can do what I want >:)
> 
> A big salute to all the burn survivors out there. You are all amazing and I respect you with my entire being.


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